Lindsay Lohan Will NOT Be Suing Take-Two After All

Remember when Lindsay Lohan was certain a character in Grand Theft Auto V was based on her and threatened to sue Rockstar Games and its parent company Take-Two Interactive? Today she found out she can’t actually do that. An appeals court threw out her lawsuit, filed in 2014, this week. Turns out there’s something called the First Amendment that protects acts of free speech such as parody and commentary.

“As to Lohan’s claim that an avatar in the video game is she and that her image is used in various images, defendants also never referred to Lohan by name or used her actual name in the video game, never used Lohan herself as an actor for the video game, and never used a photograph of Lohan,” said the appeals court.

“Even if we accept plaintiffs’ contentions that the video game depictions are close enough to be considered representations of the respective plaintiffs, plaintiffs’ claims should be dismissed because this video game does not fall under the statutory definitions of ‘advertising’ or ‘trade, [due to its] unique story, characters, dialogue, and environment, combined with the player’s ability to choose how to proceed in the game.”

The courts are a circle game, so Lohan can appeal this appeal if she wants to and keep the madness going. However, it may end here — every dollar she spends on legal fees, she can’t spend on coke.